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[1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of history;

[2] a word that should be pronounced as “mirage”;

[3]
an event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left;

[4]
a very good way to promote civilization — if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher {Socrates}

[5] a process much like a cafeteria — you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best — and pay later;

[6] an event which is called “tying the knot” — unfortunately, the knot can be a noose;

[7] a word which always means commitment — but so does insanity;

[8] a ceremony favored in England — it’s the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating;

[9] something that changes the demeanor of a driver — there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on the wheel;

[10] the only permanent cure for love;

[11] is only compatible when the man makes a living and his wife makes living worthwhile;

[12] the only adventure open to the cowardly;

[13] something which is called a feast — unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course;

[14] a group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two;

[15] the alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them;

[16] the process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction;

[17] a legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife;

[18] that ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics;

[19] a rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required  o swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and
exhausting condition until death do them part;

[20] occurs where a man gets hooked by his own line;

[21] in America, is the only legal method of suppressing freedom of peech;

[22] is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste;

[23] is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer;

[24] the process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred;

[25] a condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting;

[26] the ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can’t blame on the government;

[27] a tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to pay the ivorce lawyer;

[28] is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who tries to come between them;

[29] the continuous process of getting used to things you never expected;

[30] a status which depends upon two to be successful but only one to turn into a failure;

[31] is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the book is prose;

[32] a bargain, and a sensible person understands that someone must get the better of any bargain;

[33] in Japanese is called “Judo” — the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of “Yes, dear”;

[34] a confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings;

[35] is not a word, but a sentence;

[36] a delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy;

[37] an investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest.

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Author:
User Imageadmin
Time:
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Category:
funny definitions
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