| A wife mentioned to her husband that for Valentine’s Day, she would like something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in four seconds. She was expecting something like this………… |
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But her husband presented her with something very different… |
Women Are Such Complex Creatures:
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don’t you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don’t, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don’t you are not understanding.
If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don’t she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don’t, she says you are a dull guy.
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.
If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
IN SHORT…
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So daming, yet so wonderful… WOMEN !
| 2.5 |
Love Letter by Maths Teacher
My Dear SweetHeart,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set.The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
He seemed very busy in is work , attending phone calls , giving and taking instructions
TO DO list was getting longer and literally he had no time to take sip of drink kept on his table . This is his schedule almost every day …soon tea break of 20 mint started .with a breathe of relief he stopped all his activity and got ready for made him relaxed from the work pressure through every possible means there.
A group of his female co-workers were passing by his desk and he saw his 2 friend were also coming wid small steps holding teacups…..rising steam made him eager to get it quickly but the giggles and the soft smell of ladies perfume were also catching his attention .
Suddenly he called out one of them from that group and asked about some problem that she was facing at the job place …though he himself didn’t have any bit of time to do ANY task other than his job but he seemed so concerned for that unrelated duty
Many of his domestic chores were kept in pending box due to his 2 deadly jobs one after the other, required for his and his SMALL family’s fundamental requirements. After feeling first-class in her 15 mint company he made promise to show her car to some good mechanic to tune it up …..
Tea break got over soon BUT “ GIVING an hour to kids for chit chat and play “ was cancelled from the RESOLUTION of his day as usual. “Visit to mechanic was MORE important as it was the COST of revival in those mind-numbing hrs of job , directly related with the survival of his kids” thinking this and he became guiltless.
This is the grant of ECONOMIC system developed by human minds, planned without keeping human psychological , psychical and moral requirements in view . It is made just to get more assets in less possible time and investment.
GREAT MINDS!!!
Is there any other way-out to escape from its clutches???
| 2.5 |
Dear Car Care Manufacturer,
This is not SPAM. Please forward to the marketing decision maker in your business.
I would like to make you aware of new opportunities to market your brand with the most visited site among car detailing enthusiasts, Autopia.org.
With its new charter, Autopia.org is an ideal brand marketing partner for your business. Our mission is to revitalize the car detailing enthusiast hobby and give professional detailers a vibrant place to learn and improve their business. This mission is my full-time effort.
Yesterday I announced the Autopia Marketplace Directory, a self-serve advertising platform. As a prominent name in our industry, I created a free listing for your business. You will find your listing in the Detailing Products section under “Detailing Product Mfg.” You have the option to claim control of the listing and make modifications by clicking the “Click here to claim it” link at the bottom of your page. There is no cost to claim your listing.
While not necessary for your listing to remain, I would appreciate having your business as a Platinum advertiser in the Autopia Marketplace Directory. During the launch phase of the new system, with your $350 Platinum listing I will do all of the work. That’s right, I will personally add up to ten product listings, pictures, banners and contact information for you. All you have to do is push the PayPal button!
This is a great opportunity to have your brand and most important products in front of more than 1-million people (our estimated 2008 Internet reach) at a ridiculously low price. Your product listings and coupons will rotate near the top of the second most popular page on our site, the main forum page. We are on-target for this page to be viewed more than 5-million times in 2008!
Get your brand and products seen by the most important people in our industry, the detailers and the recommenders! Claim your listing, push the PayPal button and let me do the rest.
Yours in Better Car Care Marketing,
David
| 2.5 |
There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th floor of a tall building.
On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they have to climb the stairs home. After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them the next day. They left their bags then and climbed on…………
When they have struggled to the 40th level by this time they had gone sufficiently mad and irritated. The younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel. They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarreling all the way to the 60th floor.
They then realized that they have only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarreling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at long last. Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the other to open the door. And they realized that the key was in their bags which were left on the 20th floor………
This story is a reflection on our life and times. All of us climb the tall building called life………..some till all the 80 floors and some less. Many of us climb under the expectations of our companion.
Time to time these are our friends and parents till the 20th floor, then our spouse and our dear ones till the next level of the building. We seldom get to do the things that we really like and love and are under so much pressure and stress so that by the age of 20, we get tired and decided to dump this load. Being free of the stress and pressure, we work enthusiastically and dream ambitious wishes.
By the time we reach 40 years old, we start to lose our vision and dreams.We began to feel unsatisfied and start to complain and criticize. We live life as a misery as we are never satisfied.
Reaching 60, we realize that we have little left for complaining anymore, and we began to walk the final episode in peace and calmness. We think that there is nothing left to disappoint us, only to realize that we could not rest in peace because we have an unfulfilled dream……….a dream we abandon 60 years ago. So what’s your dream…..?
Know your dreams and follow it so that you will not live with regrets.
Help others and thank God.
Accept yourself…
Believe in yourself…
Like yourself…
Inside each of us are powers so strong, treasures so rich, possibilities so endless, that to command them all to action would change the history of the world.
Celebrate Life……….
| 2.5 |
1: If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side
2: If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3: Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4: Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5: The Mercedes-Benz motto is ‘Das Beste oder Nichts’ meaning ‘the best or nothing’.
6: The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7: The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8: The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9: Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10: Frank Perdue’s chicken slogan, “It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken” was translated into Spanish as “it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. “Marry me!” - That’s Direct Marketing”
2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.” -That’s Advertising”
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me - That’s Telemarketing”
4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” - That’s Public Relations”
5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! me?” - That’s Brand Recognition”
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.”That’s Customer Feedback”
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband.”That’s demand and supply gap”
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him . “That’s competition eating into your market share”
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. “That’s restriction for entering new markets”.
| 2.5 |
1 comment
admin |
info, interesting |
HER DIARY
Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late,but he made no comment . Conversation wasn’t flowing so ,I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, “Nothing.”I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love u,too.”When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore,so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is gonna be a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today India lost the cricket match against bangladesh.
DAMN IT.
| 2.5 |
