Author Archive

Great puzzle of four 4s

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Math is so Cool….

0 = 4−4+4−4
1 = 4*4/(4*4)
2 = 4/4+4/4
3 = (4+4+4)/4
4 = (4-4)/4+4
5 = 4^(4-4)+4
6 = (4+4)/4+4
7 = 4+4-4/4
8 = 4+4+4-4
9 = 4/4+4+4
10 = (4*4+4!)/4
11 = (4+4!)/4+4
12 = (4-4/4)*4
13 = (4+4!+4!)/4
14 = 4!/4+4+4
15 = 4*4-4/4
16 = 4*4+4-4
17 = 4*4+4/4
18 = (4*4!-4!)/4
19 = 4!-(4+4/4)
20 = (4/4+4)*4
21 = 4!+4/4-4
22 = 4!-(4+4)/4
23 = 4!-4^(4-4)
24 = 4*4+4+4
25 = 4!+(4/4)^4
26 = 4!+4!/4-4
27 = 4!+4-4/4
28 = (4+4)*4-4
29 = 4/4+4!+4
30 = (4*4!+4!)/4
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Canadian eh

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don’t work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .

If ‘Vacation’ means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .
Read More »

Before and after marriage

Monday, November 10th, 2008

BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!!

John: Ah..At last. I can hardly wait!
Jane: Do you want me to leave?
John: No! dont’ even think about it
Jane: Do you love me?
John: Of Coust! Always did and always will
Jane: Have you ever cheated on me?
John: No!Why are you even asking?
Jane: Will you kiss me?
John: Every chance I get!
Jane: Will you hit me?
John: Hell no! Are you crazy?
Jane: Can I trust you?
John: Yes
Jane: Darling

AFTER MARRIAGE!!!

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Read from the Bottom back to Top

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Economic models explained with cows

Friday, November 7th, 2008

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
 

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
 

FASCISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
 

NAZISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
 

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,and then throws the milk away…
 

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
 

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL

You have two cows. You shred them.

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Some famously wrong predictions

Friday, November 7th, 2008

1 “Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.”

– Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

2 “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”

– Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

3 “I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year.”

– The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

4 “But what … is it good for?”

– Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968,commenting on the microchip.

5 “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”

– Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

6 “This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.”

– Western Union internal memo, 1876.

7 “The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?”

– David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

8 “The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible.”

– A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

9 “I’m just glad it’ll be Clark Gable who’s falling on his face not Gary Cooper.”

– Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in “Gone With The Wind.”

10 “A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.”
 

– Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’Cookies.

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Cash Withdrawal from ATM

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.

1. Park the car

2. Go to ATM Machine

3. Insert card

4. Enter PIN

5. Take money out

6. Take ATM Card out

7. Drive away

 How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM

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Very Funny

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

Pick the month you were born.

1—-i shot

2—-i ate

3—-i smacked

4—-i sang to

5—-i fell in love with

6—-i murdered

7—-i gave my number to

8—-i love with

9—-i choked on

10—i ~censored~ out

11—i humped

12—i gave a lap dance to

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Rambo by the numbers

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

1:”First Blood (1982)” 2: “Rambo: First blood part II(1985)” III: “Rambo III (1988)” IV: “Rambo (2008)”
Number of bad guys killed by Rambo with his shirt on 1 12 33 83
Number of bad guys killed by Rambo with his shirt off 0 46 45 0
Number of bad guys killed by Rambo no Matter how attired 1 58 78 83
Number of bad guys killed by accomplices of Rambo acting on their own 0 10 17 40
Number of good guys killed by bad guys 0 1 37 113
Total number of people killed 1 69 132 236
Number of people killed per minute 0.01 0.72 1.30 2.59
Time at which the first person is killed (min & sec) 29:31 33:34 41:9 3:22
Number of people killed per minute from that point until the end of the film (not including the ending credits) 0.02 1.18 2.39 3.04
Sequences in which Rambo is Shot at without significant result 12 24 38 2
Number of sequence in which good guys are tortured by bad guys 2 5 7 3
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Why Microsoft shouldn’t make cars

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: “If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought ‘Car95′ or ‘CarNT.’ Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that’s powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single ‘general car fault’ warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say ‘Are you sure?’ before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You’d press the ‘Start’ button to shut off the engine.

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Brilliant Ways Girls Turn Guys Down

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

HE: I’m a photographer I’ve been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I’d like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I’m having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don’t you already have one?

Read More »

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