Fun and Information

#  Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.

# Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

# Brought her large dog to the interview.

# Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

# Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

# She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.

# Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

# Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.

# Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.

# Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer’s office.

# Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.

# Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.

# Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

# Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

# Wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.

# When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.

# Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

# Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
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1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.

The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: ‘When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?’
Monkey: ‘Tying their belts’

Officer: ‘What were the air hostesses doing?’
Monkey: ‘Saying Hello! Good morning!’

Officer: ‘What were the pilots doing?’
Monkey: ‘Checking the system’

Officer: ‘What were you doing?’
Monkey: ‘Looking for my people’

Officer: ‘After 10′ minutes what were the travelers doing?’
Monkey: ‘Having beverages and snacks’

Officer: ‘What were the air hostesses doing?’
Monkey: ‘Serving the travelers’

Officer: ‘What were the Pilots doing?’
Monkey: ‘Handling the steering’

Officer: ‘What were you doing?’
Monkey: ‘Eating & throwing’
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So long I never realize I don’t know the real

Meaning of family…… ….

Here Is The Answer ……….. FAMILY =

(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou

WHY does a man want to have a WIFE?

Because:

(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment

WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?

Because:

(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding

Do you know that a simple “HELLO” can be a sweet one?

Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfrien d).

The word HELLO means :

(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you…

RIP     Requiescat In Pace (Latin: May He/She Rest in Peace)
RIP     Radar Improvement Plan
RIP   Ranger Indoctrination Program
RIP   Rapid Install Package (Altiris)
RIP   Rapid Installation Plan/Phase
RIP   Rapid Isothermal Processing
RIP   Rapidly Induced Phosphatase
RIP   Raster Image Processor/Processing
RIP   Rate Image Processor
RIP   Raw In-Process
RIP   RCRA Implementation Plan
RIP   REACH Implementation Project
RIP   Read in Peace
RIP   Read in Private
RIP   Readiness Improvement Program
RIP   Receptor-Interacting Protein (cell apoptosis)
RIP   Reconnaissance Information Point Read More »

LOL ——— Laugh Out Loud
LOL ——— Life of Loan (banking)
LOL ——— Labor of Love
LOL ——— Lack of Laughter (less common)
LOL ——— Lack of Love (game)
LOL ——— Ladies of Lallybroch
LOL ——— Lady of the Lake
LOL ——— Land O’ Lakes
LOL ——— Land of Legends (Canandaigua Speedway, New York)
LOL ——— Land of Lincoln
LoL ——– Lands of Lore (game)
LOL ——— Language of Literature
LOL ——— Language of Love Read More »

Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through; can you help?’
Operator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’
Customer: ‘It’s on the door of your business.’
Operator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that we are open.’
—————————————————————————
Samsung Electronics
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide i Read More »

Do you know the meaning of ABCDEFG
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl.

Reverse the meaning of GFEDCBA
Girls Forgot Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again.

A child was born three months after the death of his father. Born prematurely, he was a small child; his mother said that he could easily fit inside a quart mug. When He was three, his mother remarried and went to live with her new husband, leaving her son in the care of his maternal grandmother, Began his schooling in the village schools. When he was 15 yrs, his step father died and his mother came back only to remove him from school and attempted to make a farmer of him. He was thoroughly unhappy with the farm work. One of his high school teacher helped him back to school to complete his education.

At the age of 19 he fell in love, romanced for a year and got engaged to his beloved. But he became engrossed in his studies and let the romance cool itself & she left him & married someone else. He never married. He faced challenges everywhere!

He was born unlucky with much hardship for very survival & struggle for education.
What can you expect that child to do & achieve in life? Think!
..
..Think again!
..
..
..
.. Read More »