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| Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions. |
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| Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient! |
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| Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name. |
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate’s staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts,” Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa,” Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!”
4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” She said, “But they look so close on the map.”
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.”
1: A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
2: A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
3: A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
4: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
5: Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.
6: If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
7: You can learn many things from children… like how much patience you have.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
And one more……..
8: Parents are so excited about the first steps and words of their children, but then they spend the next 17 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
| 2.5 |
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test.If the professor says no,rip
the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters “CHECK YOUR FLY”.
(At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as “your excellency”.
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream “AAAGH! MY EYES!”
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admin |
misc |
1: 5 minutes ago you were traveling to office at 80 mph in your brand new car.
Now you are traveling to hospital at double the speed in a van ambulance.
You wish there was ‘UNDO’ in life!
2: You are already late, and your key is missing, You wish there was ‘FIND TOOL’ in
life!
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admin |
misc |
How children think of there dad at different ages…………
At 4 Years
My daddy is great.
At 6 Years
My daddy knows everybody.
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admin |
nice |
Different operating systems. Different styles. But what if the quirks and styles of the
different operating systems were applied to AIRLINES?
if Operating Systems Ran the Airlines…
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admin |
IT Fun |
