Fun and Information

Let’s face it, English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant.
No ham in the hamburger.
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
And French fries were not invented in France. Read More »

Use them if u hate some1

1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental !

2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

4. I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your
looks? Read More »

Scene 1
Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Scene 2
Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. Read More »

1. If you’re choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. Read More »

Ok so some of you may know this… and heard it a million time… but there are ppl that don’t know about this…:

This is how u know your mobile is of good quality or not:

Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears check the 7th and 8th numbers
Read More »

1. Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.

2.Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long counter intuitive names. Don’t ever code “a=b”, rather do something like: AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));

3.Type fast, think slow. Read More »

/**
* (c) 2008 Microsoft Corp.
*  All rights reserved
*/

#include “osx_tiger_features.h”;

class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
{
boolean beta = true;
WindowsVista()
{
checkIfHardwareIsCompatible();
/** oK. The idiot seems to have some high end hardware
* Lets make his life miserable
*/
runInternetExplorer7()
}

void checkIfHardwareIsCompatible()
{
/*
* Lets make sure that half of the world cannot run this OS while we fix all the bugs
*/
if((installedRam < 2GB) || ProcessorSpeed < 4GHZ))
{
MessageBox(”Your system does not seem to be capable of running zero err.. aero glass and the like. Please upgrade the hardware and try again”);
waitTillPoorGuyReadsTheMessage();
}
}

void runInternetExplorer7()
{
IE7 ie7 = new IE7();
ie7.featureSet = firefox_features + safari_features + opera_features + lot_of_bugs;
ie7.run();
waitWhileThePoorGuyLooksAtTheNewInterface();
bsod();
}

Just thinking about rain

When it rains

1. Will a rain drop’s velocity keeps on increasing due to gravity till it reaches ground?

2. Will rain drop reach a constant velocity (terminal velocity) and hits ground with a constant velocity?

Actually i know when you drop a sinking object in water it will reach a terminal velocity, this is for liquids

but how about a object in air will it reach terminal velocity or the velocity keeps on increasing?

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day

2. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join

3. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

4. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. Read More »

When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”.

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!”, and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause. Read More »